When most people set off for an adventure abroad they have a number of goals they wish to accomplish. They hope to try new things, expand their worldviews, learn foreign languages, gain spiritual insight, connect with humanity, blah blah blah, etc. ect.. That's all nice, but when I set off for South Africa this quickly approaching Tuesday, I go with three more pressing objectives in tow:
Objective 1: To avoid getting eaten by a shark. Swimming in the ocean is all well and good until someone loses a limb, and I certanly don't intend for that someone to be me. Thanks for the invitation, Mr. Ring of Death, but this live bait will be chillin' on the sand.
Objective 2: To avoid being a victim of crime. I can do without mugging, rape, murder, ethnic cleansing, human sacrifice, scalping, or--worst case scenario--bike rage, so I plan for this spring semester to involve minimal harm to my person. Mission Safety, Mission Life.
Objective 3: To embrace my inner black woman. I have long suspected that the section marked "caucasion" on my birth certificate was a mistake. I have often felt oppressed by the taboo-ing of clapping, dancing, rhythm, and general happiness in "predominatly" white church worship. I have always thought that the genre "Southern Gospel" had a cruelly misleading title--Sorry, Bill and Gloria. Some may be old souls, but I am a black soul longing to be freed from this scrawny, fair-skinned prison. Hand me a drum and save me a seat in the alto section, South Africa, for I am officially retiring the white-girl foot stomp.
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Jess....I'm so proud! (sniff, sniff) And hoping that you will successfully accomplish all three of your goals. Also hoping that when you find your inner self, you might pass some of it along to your rhythmically challenged, genetically repressed aunt. :)
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